It's been awhile since I've posted! It wasn't due to lack of interest - it was due to lack of the internetz! Our old router-thingie didn't want to work any more. It definitely appears as though PJ has now fixed the problem so it's all good.

The girls have their Halloween parties/parades at school today (well, technically "today" but it's really in about 12 hours). Her Royal Highness Princess Kahlan is going to be Snow White and Devon is going to be the cutest little chubby ladybug ever! (Thanks, Rach!) K is so excited! I love this time of year too because I use the holidays as behavior modification tools. If you don't _____, then there will be no Trick-0r-Treating/Christmas/whatever.

This is our first Halloween in the new house. We settled on the house on October 30th of last year but didn't actually move in until December 12th. Should be exciting.

For dessert last night, we all had a piece of chocolate chip cookie cake with a couple scoops of uber-chocolate ice cream, with a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie on top. No regrets although Kahlan did learn that she will probably still get dessert even if she doesn't eat all of her dinner. My bad :)

Disjointed but fun all the same...

Kahlan never fails to disappoint. There is always something coming out of her mouth that renders me speechless. *Most* of the time, it's a good thing.

When leaving Target last week, she called me whiteface. I am not sure 1)where she got that from and 2)why she decided to call me whiteface. Now, there is Whiteface Mountain in New York but I really don't think that's what she was talking about. It's one of those situations in which I want to know what she's talking about but I don't want to encourage her to keep using some words.

Earlier this week, she didn't want to finish dinner. I told her that was her choice but that she couldn't have dessert. She insisted that she was full. She then lifted up her shirt and said, "But I still have room for dessert right HERE!" as she pointed to a little space in-between her ribs.

I guess that she had lemonade at school today because as we were leaving, she proudly and loudly announced that, "My farts smell like lemonade!"

We were playing a guessing game in the car. She would describe something and I had to guess what it is. It went something like this...

K, "I'm thinking of something white on the inside and red on the outside."
Me, "Is it an apple?"
K, "No No No NO! I need to give you more hints!"
Me, "Okay."
K, "It has a stem too!"
Me, "Is it an apple?"
K, "Yup!"


K's been talking a lot about my grandmother who passed away 1.5 years ago. K and GG were really close - best buddies. GG became part of the guessing game:
K, "I'm thinking of somebody who is beautiful and is Aunt Dot's mother."
Me, "Is it GG?"
K, "Yeah, but she's out of town right now. We should go visit her."
I then tried to go over the whole gone-but-not-forgotten concept of death. K really misses her GG.

Kahlan has definitely been pushing buttons lately. She's been doing things that she knows she shouldn't do, but in a manner that's on the verge of making us really mad. She knows exactly when to pull back from being bad. I know it's part of her age and all - but dear lord! It's scary knowing that in a few years, she will be teaching Devon these tricks!

She's been on a kick lately of telling me that my belly is squishy. I tried explaining to her that having two big babies in my belly is what contributed to this (I am, of course, not blaming my chocolate addiction). While I'm not exactly the size I was at our wedding, I don't consider myself beyond all hope. She'll bring it all back by telling me that I have beautiful eyes. That's when I decided that having an inquisitive and observant four-year-old is like having a jerk boyfriend :)

K picked out a Snow White costume for Halloween. She wanted to buy an apple as part of her costume. I told her she can have an apple closer to Halloween for her costume because if we bought it now, it would go bad by Halloween. Judging by her angry rant, I'm guessing that wasn't the answer that she wanted...

Heard from our bathroom tonight, "I like pooping!" PJ, "Yes, I know you do..."

...and the beat goes on, and the beat goes on

Being a parent is never dull. I'm not just talking about the daily busy routine of getting the girls ready for school, getting ready for work, packing lunches, putting out clothes for the day, brushing teeth, wiping sleep from their eyes, working a full day, being a mommy-taxi, prepping for dinner, clean-up, laundry, dishes, showers/baths, and trying to convince two tired girls that they are, in fact, tired. Both girls have their own special ways of throwing an unexpected yet happy curve ball at my day. Whether it's Devon reaching up because she wants her mommy after actively wanting daddy all day or some of the stuff that Kahlan comes up with - it's never a dull day.

Kahlan's most recent thought process is at follows:
K, "Mommy, why am I coughing so much?"
Me, "You have mucus."
K, "I'm going to tell all of my friends at school that I have mucus!"

Later that day...

Me, "How was school today?"
K, "I told all of my friends that I have mucus!"
Me, "...and what did they say about that?"
K (with a mouth full of McDonald's), "They said that they hope that I feel better."

I've never seen another kid who is so proud of their bodily functions.

That was earlier in the week.

Yesterday - I can't believe that Friday is "yesterday" already - I had to get the girls from school early and take them to an evening meeting at work with me from 5 - 6:30pm. The school closes at 6pm and PJ wouldn't have been home in time to get them. They have both been to the office numerous times and K knows where everything is (bathroom, kitchen, etc.) so she's able to be relatively independent at my work. The meeting that took place was with our American Sign Language (ASL) instructors as we are planning future classes. Therefore, the entire meeting was signed. I was holding Dev and I thought that K wasn't paying attention as she was coloring, eating, and running to the kitchen periodically for more water. I guess that she did pay attention because she spent a good portion of the evening at home waving her hands and fingers at me, asking if I knew what she was trying to say. I love that she understands that ASL is a real language and that she is interested in the disability community at a young age - this will hopefully contribute to making her an empathetic and compassionate adult. However, I did not have the heart to tell her that she wasn't actually signing anything - she was just waving her hands and fingers. I'm thinking that we may have to enroll her in ASL classes to get her beyond the basic things that she does know.

This also really got me thinking. K has never been one of those "point-and-stare" kids whenever she comes across somebody that doesn't look like her. In her coloring books, she will color skin white, yellow, brown, and black without a second thought. She will pointedly say that "some people have darker skin and some people have lighter skin" and I tell her that she is right and that everybody is different. Sometimes the differences can be seen and sometimes they can't be seen - but being different is what makes the world go 'round. I can tell that she is always observing, always processing information. She really takes it all in - and she is really sensitive. I just know that she will change the world for the better when she is older with that great mind and huge heart of hers.

Not that I'm biased or anything...

Oy Vey

Kahlan, "Mommy, I don't love you."
Me, "Well, I always love you; and I guess that means that you can't go to Pajama Day at school tomorrow."
Kahlan, "Well, I guess that I love you a little bit..."


In the car, on the way home from school...
Kahlan, "My friends at school and I are having an argument. I threw a dress at Harley... but she hurt my feelings first!"
I then tried to explain how two wrongs don't make a right.
Kahlan, "She told the teacher on me - I didn't like that!"
Me, "Well, would listening to a Lady Gaga song make you feel better?"
Kahlan, "No. Listening to A LOT of Lady Gaga would make me feel better!"


K and I were on the nursery floor with Devon, trying to get her to crawl forward. I was shaking a wooden maraca to try to tempt Dev into crawling. Kahlan wanted a turn with the maraca so I handed it to her and she promptly bopped one of the cats (Raistlin) on the head with it.
Me, "Kahlan! That wasn't nice! You hurt Raist!"
Kahlan, "I just wanted to see if it would make him any different!"
Poor Raist, he's already dumb...

Two Girls, One Doctor

So the girls had their well-baby/well-child visits today. Kahlan got three shots, has 20/20 vision, has to go back to the audiologist, and is otherwise well. Devon got four shots, has a double ear infection, and is kinda chubby. Babies should be chubby.

While we were in the room waiting for the doctor, Kahlan kept on insisting that she can fly. I tried explaining to her that people do not and cannot fly. She told me to wait until we all get home - then she will show me! I can hardly wait...

The well never runs dry...

The day isn't halfway done yet and I already have some gems:

K (from the backseat of my car): "I curse the day this was made!"
Me: "What are you talking about?"
K: "Never mind."


I was helping her get ready for school this morning; and we were washing our hands after going to the bathroom...

Me: "Kahlan, let me help you with the soap."
K: "Mom, I'm FOUR. I can do this by myself now that I'm FOUR!"

K's History of Awesomeness

K (at the dinner table): "I'm going to be disrespectful!" At least she is giving us ample warning...

K, "I tried to give Devon a wedgie, but her diaper was just too bulky."

K, "Daddy, I want ice tea with dinner."
PJ, "You're going to have apple juice."
K, "Hmm. I guess that I changed my mind!"

K, "Ryan in my class wanted me to win at musical mats so he's my boyfriend."
Mommy, "What does it mean to have a boyfriend?"
K, "It means that we kiss!"

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO *bangs head*

While in Target...
K, "Mom, I'm 4. I don't have to hold hands any more."
Me, "Yes you do."
K, "Okay - then when I'm 5, I won't have to hold hands any more."
Me, "K, if you keep this up I'm making you hold hands until you're 19."
...PJ, "Won't that look weird?"

Instead of "Pop! Goes the weasel..." Kahlan is singing "Pop Pop is a weasel!" I don't know if my dad is offended or if he thinks it's hilarious.

Me, "K, how was school?"
K, "I didn't pinch anybody!"

I've been sick so I take some tissues to bed with me at night. This morning, Kahlan came into our bedroom and yelled at me when she saw the tissues. Apparently, they belong in the trash and I am ruining the environment. She took my tissues and threw them away - I hadn't even used them yet! Since when did my kid become a hippie?

K - "Mommy, I don't want to brush my teeth."
Me - "K, do you want all of your teeth to fall out?"
K - "Yes! Then the Tooth Fairy will come!"

I'm so not surprised that K tried playing "fetch" with her little sister.

At the dinner table... "When I turn 16, you guys can buy me a new car!"

In the car... "Can you put on the news so we can hear what's going on in the world?"

K, "Mommy, I'm done with Harry Potter."
Mommy, "K, Mommy loves Harry Potter."
K, "Then you should marry him!"

Mom Mom Liz to K, "Are you allowed to jump on the bed?"
K, "Perhaps."

Yup, she's going to be a lawyer...

Mommy - "K, how was school today?"
K - "Good until you showed up!"

I was watching America's Got Talent. Harmonica Pierre was on when a little voice called out from her room, "Mommy! Is that Lady Gaga?" K can identify a harmonica instrumental version of Lady Gaga's Alejendro. That is awesome and I am beginning to think that K was a gay man in a previous life.

K to me, "Mommy, you are the best mommy a girl could ask for!"

K to me (as I'm covered in baby food green beans), "Mommy, you smell bad. You smell like Devon." One moment later, "Mommy, I ate icky cheese and I threw up in my hands." I love my girls!

K is now walking around saying, "That scared the craps out of me!"

K to Mom Mom Liz, "It would be fun of Devon and I jumped out of the window."
Mom Mom Liz to K, "That's not safe, Kahlan."
Kahlan to Mom Mom Liz, "We'd have parachutes."

K and I were in the grocery store. She managed to somehow destroy the container of cupcake liners and then victoriously yell, "NOW who's the loser?!?!?" to the container. My kid is obsessed with losing and winning. PJ - no more Sports Center/ESPN when you're home with the girls.

K to Mommy, "Mommy, you need to wear pants or everybody at work will point and laugh at you." Thanks, K...

K to Daddy, "Daddy you drive me crazy!" **pause** "Daddy - what does 'drive me crazy' mean?"

Devon was playing with her little lion toy; and started to put it in her mouth. K's response? "You're not supposed to eat lions. They eat you."

K, "Daddy, it's ok with me if you buy a new video game."
PJ, "Mommy said no."
K, "It can be our secret."

K was chasing the cats around the house, "Come back! I'm friendly!"

This morning, Kahlan was up and putting things in bed with me, "Mommy,
I put a princess in your bed!" "Mommy, I put a spider in your bed!"
(one of those Halloween spider rings). "Mommy, I put a rock in your
bed!" So, I get up and start cleaning up all the stuff she put i my
bed. Then I got to the rock. The rock wa...s actually a cat poop. That's
how my day started.

Hey, WoW dorks - this one is for you. All four of us were at Target and PJ, of course, had to go to the video/computer game section. We passed by some WoW games. K's comment - "Daddy, look! It's a Goodnight Elf!"

PJ, to K: "I'm a good daddy."
K, to PJ: "You are?"

PJ told K that she had to ask for a piece of cake, that simply looking cute would not work. K's response - "But it works on Mommy!" (turns to me) "Right, Mommy? It works on you?" Yes, baby. It does.

While at the grocery store yesterday, K informed me that we aren't best friends any more and that she can drive herself to school.

Me: "Kahlan - I love you!" Kahlan: "Mommy, please be quiet. I'm trying to read."

Ask Kahlan how she "accidentally" threw her sister's toy out of the car window while I was driving on Rte. 213.

PJ and I told Kahlan that she has enough stuffed animals and to stop bringing them all out to the sofa. She then started bringing out dolls. "These are stuffed people, not stuffed animals." Touche, my dear. Touche.

According to K, "Mommy, you don't respect me because you still make me use sippy cups."

"Mommy, you are too cute for a time-out. Daddy, you're going to be in time-out for awhile."

"Mommy, I want to take off my socks." "Okay, take them off." "I want them on." "Kahlan, do whatever you want to do with your socks." "But MOM - I don't want to do whatever I want to do with my socks!" She was obviously tired and cranky...

Very first post EVAR!

Quite a few people have suggested that we start blogging about all of the crazy shit that Kahlan says. Then again, others have claimed that they are questioning their decision to have children based on what they know about Kahlan.

While I normally use my Facebook addiction as the forum for all of the stuff that comes out of K's mouth, I have finally broken down and agreed that there needs to be a one-stop-shop for all of K's wonderfulness.