One of us will end up in therapy

I chaperoned K's field trip yesterday to Coco Key - a pretty cool water park in Mt. Laurel, NJ. http://www.mtlaurelcocokey.com/

I really didn't know what to expect as there are mixed reviews online. I was somewhat concerned that all of the lifeguards and safety personnel looked to be 12 years old but they did stay on top of the more rambunctious kids and at least we had K's teachers there as extra added support. There were no obvious signs from the road (there's lots of construction going on) so it took some time to find it. Anyways, that's not why you're reading this. You want to know why my kids are driving me crazy and vice versa.

On the way over the bridge to NJ, K asked if we were in NJ yet because, "That's where Aunt Kirsten lives!!! Oh yeah, and Uncle Dan too." When we got there, we had a blast and spent a lot of time on the lazy river ride. K would get excited every time we went under a waterfall and she capsized us a few times, one of those times included me going under. Thanks, K!

At one point, K wanted to go on the lazy river ride by herself. I gave her a definite NO. One of her teachers, Miss Erin, offered to start the ride with her and let Miss Paige finish the ride with her. That was fine by me as I was wrangling some of the other kids. I watched K round the corner then I was keeping an eye on some of the other kids, making sure they were secure in their tubes. When I rounded the corner, Miss Paige was holding onto K's tube because, apparently, K was excited at one of the waterfalls again and fell out of her tube. Miss Paige held onto her until I could take over. I got to K and we were fine. Flash forward to about 10pm that night and K was crying in bed, saying that I abandoned her when she went under water because I was helping Nick (one of her classmates) get back into his tube. She was questioning how much I love her. That led to a late night conversation about how she wanted to try it by herself, I made sure that teachers were with her, and now she knows why I don't like letting her do somethings by herself. I never thought in a million years that I'd have to spend hours convincing Kahlan how much I love her. She was crying hysterically.

Flash back to the afternoon. So we spent the afternoon going on slides, on tubes, splashing, and having fun. We left about an hour before we were supposed to so we could go visit Aunt Kirsten, who lives only 15 minutes away from the park. Kirsten got a taste of parenthood. As Kirsten and I were trying to talk, you could hear this little voice... "Aunt Kirsten! Look at this! Aunt Kirsten! Did you see this? Aunt Kirsten, I'm hungry! I have to go to the bathroom!" When Uncle Dan got home from work, K and Dan had a great conversation about zombies and fire. Eventually, it was time for us to leave because I still had to make dinner. K was crying again about how much she doesn't want to leave and she doesn't want to go home, she wants to stay with Aunt Kirsten... Want to take a guess as to how quickly she fell asleep in the car?

We got home and I pulled into our driveway, opened K's car door for air, and went up to the porch to unlock our front door. Devon saw me and started with the, "Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!" and I felt horrible because I had to leave her momentarily to get her sleeping sister out of the car. I could hear her crying as I left her to get K.

I am psychologically damaging my kids - yay! (sad mommy face inserted here)

Diva Squared

So K decided to tell us that she likes to do arabesque moves in ballet. Um, when did she learn this?

The Diva also told me that she has three boys at school who want to be her boyfriend- Ryan G., Max, and Evin L. My vote is for Ryan.

We're planning two birthday parties for her - one for her friends at Bounce U and one for family at our house. PJ and I are firm believers that if you invite one kid from class, they all need to be invited (unless it's an all-girls party only, for example). So K's been coming home from school each day saying who made her mad and to "take them off of the list!" I don't think so, K. She still thinks that she's running a dictatorship. What I will *never* tell her is that maybe sometimes she really is running a dictatorship.

Daddy has been teaching K how to play the Pokemon card game. They've played three times and Kahlan has won three times. I just want to add that PJ is not letting her win, she is honest-to-goodness winning. She also rubs it in.

Devon is definitely showing hints of mommy in her personality. She rarely wants what I have (whether it's a drink or food, etc.). So whenever I have Starbucks, she does the ASL for "more" and says "please!" How can I say no to that amount of cuteness?!?!?! My 16-month-old *might* have a coffee problem:) I really only let her have a tiny sip at a time, I swear!

*sigh* I have awesome kids.

And the hits keep comin'...

I have a tendency to shower with the bathroom door open when I'm home alone at night with the girls. It gives me a better chance of hearing them if they need anything after I've put them to bed. Dev was already sound asleep and K was reading in bed to her students (her stuffed animals) when I went in. The fireworks were going off and I heard K whimper a little. I let her know that it was only fireworks and that I would never let them hurt her. K asked what colors they were. I told her that I didn't know because my contacts/glasses weren't in/on and my vision wasn't so hot. K ran into the hallway to the bathroom and said, "Mom. Can you see me now?" Me, "Yes, K. I can see you. You are blurry, though." K, *rolls eyes*, "Put your contacts in, Mom. They are in the cabinet." I love that my kids have so much faith in me...

Poor Dev has a bump on her noggin now. She was excited during a game of hide&seek/peek-a-boo... Essentially, I stand in the hallway outside of our bedroom and she runs into our bedroom and runs next to our bed and "hides" while I walk in and "find" her. Well, in the 10 seconds that I waited before following her in to "find" her, she managed to try to climb up the bed, slip, and bump her head on the bed frame. Now that I think about it, I don't necessarily mind that the kids don't have much faith in me! I'm waiting to receive my "Worst Mother of The Year" award in the mail. I watched her like a hawk for the next 3.5 hours to make sure she was alert, not vomiting, etc. This is one of those instances in which I am happy that my kids have hard heads.

Dev is also teething, I think, by how much she has been gnawing on things. Her canines are trying to come out and she has been gnawing on anything that she can get in her cute little chubby hands. She'll walk around with stuffed animals in her mouth - and she looks so much like a puppy! Maybe if she didn't growl...

I love how my girls are so different yet both so amazing. I have the most wonderful, gorgeous, and SMART kids ever! <3

The girls...

I know I haven't been so great on the whole "updating" thing; and I know it's particularly bad when even my brother-in-law points out that I haven't updated in a while (shout out to Justin).

Here's what we've been contending with in terms of the girls versus us:

K: "Mommy, I look pretty AND popular!" as she twirls and primps and preens while getting ready for school.

I was pretty sick and in bed for 99% of yesterday (Saturday), but here's a real gem: The mom-moms put on the sprinklers in their backyard for the girls. They were having so much fun that K realized almost belatedly that she had to go to the bathroom. She knows that we'd be upset if she (at almost five-years-old) pooped in her underwear. So what does K do? She drops trou in the backyard and poops in the yard. HILARIOUS! Too bad I missed it...

Dev has been bitten twice while at school, this last time leaving a mark/bruise/scab. How the heck are we supposed to teach her that biting is bad when she's getting bitten? At least she's really only biting daddy.

Devon is One (and other stuff)

Devon Alexa is officially ONE! I can't believe that this time last year, I was recuperating from birthing a 10lb. baby. Mom was sleeping over at our house with Kahaln and PJ and Kirsten were about as tired as I was. I'm still having trouble wrapping my mind around how quickly time flies. The last thing I remember before pushing was Kirsten bringing donuts for the nurses...

Since then, the sisterly love between my two has been undeniable. During the six weeks that I was home, Devon and I would take Kahlan to and from school. Kahlan would refer to her sister as "show-and-tell" in lieu of her given name. I would hear (and still hear), "My elbow didn't mean to hit Devon in the head, mom!" Probably my personal favorite was when Devon's toys "accidentally" threw themselves out of the window of a moving car.

Don't misunderstand me, Devon can definitely hold her own against her big sister. Devon likes to pull herself up to a standing position just to dive-bomb onto her sister. Devon will pull Kahlan's hair and will crawl up to K just to steal her toys. Devon has grabbed books and toys right out of Kahlan's unsuspecting hands. While I could - and probably should - intervene, I like that Devon can hold her own. I would definitely intervene if there was any murderous intent by either child.

Kahlan is really an amazing big sister. She loves to be Mommy's Little Helper. She helps to entertain Devon when I'm changing her diaper and they love to play in the tub together every night. I think that Kahlan does realize that those open-mouthed headbutts are really Devon's baby version of a kiss.

I love it when I pick them up from school. I typically get Kahlan first then we go for Dev. Today Kahlan suggested that Daddy should pick up Devon (she knows that this is impossible right now as we are down to one car for about a week due to PJ's fender-bender) but then she's always the one racing to the door to get Dev. K always tries to help when Devon cries - in a very condescending manner: "Mom! (insert eye roll here) Devon doesn't want THAT! She wants a/some (fill in the blank with whatever K is having)!"

I am so lucky. I really have the best kids. I never experienced this amount of love (or fear or frustration) until I became a parent. It's pretty awesome.

K quote of the day:
"La Luna! I'm mad at you for gravity! You made my box of crayons fall!"

Please keep in mind that K said this while we were in the car, driving to pick up PJ. The box of crayons fell about a week ago. Girl can hold a grudge!

When I am forced to rant...

Not that this is entirely relevant to this blog but...

So E! News* reported that one of those Tot/Tiara's moms is having her five-year-old daughter's eyebrows waxed for the pageants. Another mom admitted that the only reason she wanted a girl was to get involved with all of the pageantry.

WTF?!?

Firstly, it pisses me off that these mostly inbred white-trash idiots are able to reproduce while so many good, loving, and SANE people are not able to (easily) have their own biological children. I am becoming more and more fond of the concept of eugenics. I think that intelligence (at least close to bell curve, please) and common sense are two factors that should be requirements before having children. A good friend of ours is a teacher and has often pointed out that we are required to be licensed to drive but any idiot can have a kid. Well said, mon ami.

Secondly...

While both of my girls are gorgeous, I refuse to 1)treat them as adults 2)parade them around like whores, and 3)cause them to have body issues by the age of 5.

PJ and I have been approached in the mall on more than one occasion by those kid model agent companies. I always say no. Two words: 1)Lindsay 2)Lohan.

While children, I believe, can never truly escape peer pressure at school or body/looks-issues due to our glorious media, it's my job to not only protect them as much as possible but to also prepare them and teach them how to deal with the bullshit. Kahaln is only four and she is already very self-conscious. She wants to wear makeup and shoes that have a "heel" (or her four-year-old opinion of what a heel is). She sometimes tells me that she can't wear certain clothes or have her hair a certain way because her friends won't think that she's pretty. That breaks my heart. Kahlan is absolutely gorgeous. She has a beautiful face, perfect hair, and her smile lights up my world. For as much as I try to teach my girls to be confident in themselves, there will always be other people who work to bring them down. The biggest offender is this kid "G" who is always in time out and always in trouble (mostly attention-seeking behaviors). I asked K why she would ever listen to somebody who is always in trouble. I then reminded K why people (particularly as it pertains to other females) say hurtful things - BECAUSE THEY ARE JEALOUS! K is smart, funny, beautiful, and has an awesome sense of humor. Yes, I am biased but I'm sure as hell not wrong.

Yes, I am a momma bear when it comes to Kahlan and Devon. Anybody who tries to bring my babies down had better watch their back. My babies are smart, beautiful, and have huge personalities in their own individual ways. They are a momma's dream-come-true and there's not a single thing that I would change about either of them - tantrums and all.

Kahlan and Devon - this portion of the note is for you. Mommy loves you both so much and is so proud of each of you. You both have brought - and continue to bring - so much love, joy, and happiness into our lives and each life that you have touched. You both have so many people in your corner - you will always know love, support, and respect. You have so many people who will be here for you through all of your trials and tribulations. I love watching you both flourish and I cannot wait to see what each of you decide to be when you grow up. Whether you decide to go to college - or not - or get married - or not- or become mommies yourselves - or not - be a trailblazer or a supporter - I am so proud of you both. I am trying so hard to remind each of you of your value. Never forget just how much you bring to the table.

Never ever forget that you have so many resources and people available to you. Growing up is hard. If you are ever in a situation that you feel you cannot handle yourselves and you do not want to talk to Mom or Dad - don't forget how many people love you. By the time this note will make any sense to you, you'll have friends of your own. However, you also have a huge family - both biological and honorary. You have amazing and accessible grandparents, godparents, aunts and uncles, cousins and, most importantly, you have each other. Aunt Kirsten was physically there when you two were born. Aunt Laurie was at your ultrasound, Dev, when we found out that we were having another little girl. Uncle Doug is beyond amazing and loves you two so much. You should have seen how excited Dan was when he found out that you were coming, K. He was just 12 at the time and couldn't wait to meet you and play with you. This is just a sampling of how many people know you and love you; and there is not enough room to list everybody who deserves to be listed.

You are both incredible little girls and Mommy and Daddy are the lucky ones that you two little angels came into our lives.

*I don't consider E! News to be my most reliable news source; however, I had a steroid shot today and now I am awake and it's on TV.

Wow, it's been awhile!

I can't believe it's been over a month since I posted last. It definitely wasn't due to a lack of activity in the Yaskowski household.

Devon has been proving that she can hold her own. It's funny - K will help herself to Devon's toys. Dev will then crawl over to K's toys and take one. K will look up from what she's doing with Devon's toy and say, "Hey! Devon took one of my toys!" Ah... and so it begins...

Dev will throw her puffs from her highchair and onto the floor. She will then want to get down to eat the puffs off of the floor. K: "Yum! Floor puffs!" God help me if any of our neighbors see our kids eating food off of the floor. While I don't encourage it, at least my floors are regularly cleaned/steamed.

K and I were picking up Dev from school. I make K stand on the sidewalk next to my car while I load Dev into it. After closing Dev's door, I call for K to put down the snow with which she is playing and come over to the car so I can get her situated. "But Mom! I'm playing in the snow!" Me: "K, we have snow at home." K: "I like this snow better."

K was throwing snow at me while I was taking Dev out of the car at home. I hear an evil chuckle... "hehe, Mom - your butt is wet!" Thanks, K...

I was so proud of K during dinner. She ate everything like a champ; and was being such a mommy's helper with Devon. Dev ate a little earlier than the rest of us so she was bored by the time it was our turn to eat. Dev kept on throwing her toys onto the floor; and K would run and pick the toys up for her sister. I love that my big girl is so loving and caring. I am very proud of her!

Ooh, and while we all loved the Avatar: The Last Airbender series, K keeps on trying to water-bend in the shower - thereby splashing mommy a lot.